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Entry tags:	fanfic, reflections

Reflections and Photographs 5
Title: Reflections and Photographs
Author:diebyownhands
Pairing:Frank/Gerard, Mikey/Ray (this pairing just sneaked up on me)
Rating:R
POV: Third Person
Summary: When angry we sometimes say thinks we don't really mean. "I wish I never met you", Frank never thought his boyfriends wish would come true.
Disclaimer: Not real
Authors Note Thanks to mamoo13 for beta reading this. I'm sorry this is so late, it is my fault for not saving my beta email. It shouldn't happen again. I can't post to slowbirds so I give up on that. Also I know it's not F/G and this is just terrible self pimpage but check out my other story if you like Hiding From Love

prolog-1-2-3-4





Were you looking at me? I could feel your eyes burning into me.

Frank wanted to walk into the crowd and push everyone aside just to get to Gerard. He wanted to know what he was doing there. He wanted to push him away from the blond toy on his side. It had been six years, Gerard had the right to move on, but why bring twinkie here, why?

Frank kept his eyes on Gerard; he didn’t see anyone but him. He hoped the apology wrapped lyrics reached his heart. He pulled out the earpiece he was wearing, because he didn’t want to hear what Brian had to say when he stepped off the stage.

The crowd yelled, people pushed forward and the securities tried to stand around Frank to keep him from harm. Hands pulled on his clothes and hair. His guitar made strange noises as fingers other than his touched the strings, but he didn’t care. He wanted to walk forward, but the fans were like a thick wall that he couldn’t get through.

Josh was pushed down as people lurched forward. Gerard and Steve pushed people back, trying to keep him safe. The crowd wouldn’t stop. Blind to the boy under their feet, their one objective was Anthony. Gerard growled as he pushed hard against people. He was being insulted and yelled at for trying to make room for Steve to pull Josh up.

Josh was rescued, his lip was bleeding, but it was too dark to see how bad the damage was. Steve put an arm around his brother’s, shoulder guiding him towards the back. Gerard followed them, but soon moved in front of them and pushed his way through, making sure no one else got hurt.

Steve examined Josh, much to the younger sibling’s dismay. An assistant producer walked next to them, needing to make sure they were ok. Making sure they were happy, because this smelled like disaster, and disaster tasted slightly like lawsuit. Gerard asked for some water, which, through her radio, she asked for, as well as a medic.

Frank looked from side to side. Where had he gone? He’d been right there at arms reach, and now he was gone. He could hear Brian yelling from the earpiece hanging from his shoulder. Bob and Jeff were struggling on stage to continue the song. It was hard to play with people pilling on him, and soon it was Frank’s turn to sing. He looked around once more. Had he just imagined Gerard? He moved back onto the stage.

-

A few more fans came, but none were better or worse than Josh. Medics looked over them and offered water. Josh just shrugged it off; getting trampled was one of the risks you took at rock show. They didn’t try to get back into the crowd, but instead, watched the show from behind, unwilling to fight their way through the crowd again. Marie, the girl who had called the medics said that if they were up to it, they would try and take them back up during the next commercial.

Gerard’s phone rang. He tried to move as far as he could from the crowd so that he could hear the caller.

“Gerard, you need to come home.” Ray’s voice came through.

“Why what’s wrong?” Although they were on commercial, there was still a lot of noise in the studio, so Gerard covered his free ear to make sure he didn’t miss anything.

“Mikey and I need to talk to you. It’s very important. Please just head home now.” Ray’s voice was calm but strong. He could tell this was something important.

“Did something happen? Is Mikey ok?” Gerard, started walking towards the door, but Steve’s hand stopped him.

“Everything is fine, Mikey is fine. We…just come home.” Ray knew that the longer they waited for Gerard the harder it would be to talk to him.

“All right.” Gerard closed the phone. Turning towards Steve, he explained that he had a family emergency. With a promise to call, he snuck out the door, just as the show came back from commercials. Whatever Ray and Mikey wanted to talk about better be important, because otherwise he might just have to kill them.

-

Frank went through the rest of the show in a trance. His eyes constantly scanned the crowd, looking for the dark hair, looking for those hazel eyes he knew turned brown when sad and green when happy. He looked at every face there, every face he could reach, because he didn’t imagine him. He’d been there, his hair was shorter, his leather jacket had been switched for denim, and his eyes lacked makeup, but it was still him. It was still Gerard.

Frank was cleaning up after the show in the dressing room they had been assigned. He dug through his bag pulling out his cigarettes and then, ripping off the no smoking sign pasted on the wall, he lit it. He was tired, and his mind had gone from assuring him that it was Gerard to second guessing itself. Maybe it was just someone that looked like him. The guy was thinner and…yeah, he was kidding himself.

Jeff had gone to the bathroom to wash off the show’s heat and sweat. He flopped down next to Frank, feeling refreshed.

“What the hell is wrong with you today?” Jeff asked after silence had settled between them. Silence wasn’t usually found near Frank.

“Dude, I think I saw a ghost. Well hell, I know he isn’t dead, but one minute he was there and the next he was gone.”

Jeff scratched his clean-shaven face- the guy was obsessed with grooming. He never had a hair out of place or even a slight five o’clock shadow. “I’ll go get Bob, his better at understanding you.”

Frank hissed as the cigarette he had forgotten about burned down towards his finger. He saw a small blister forming and popped the finger into his mouth.

“Jeff said you needed to talk, not suck.” Bob commented as he entered the room to find Frank still sucking on his finger.

Frank gave Bob the finger and then sighed, slouching on the couch, “Remember the ex, I told you about?”

“The ring one?” Bob pointed towards the ring on Frank’s finger. Frank’s thumb smoothed over the band while he nodded.

“I think I saw him here today. He was there during The Ghost of You,’ and then when I got off the stage, he was gone.” Frank took the ring off his finger and placed it on the palm of his hand, curling his fingers around it as he hit the fist against his chest. “Isn’t it absolutely fucked up, that when I start wearing this band again, he appears?”

“Maybe it was just someone that looked like him?”

Frank shook his head no. Even though he had already entertained that idea, he knew it had to be Gerard.

“Well Frank, you said you were going to look for him and apologize anyways. I think it’s a good sign that he came to the show. Maybe it means he might be ready to talk.”

“Then why did he leave?” Frank kept opening and closing his hand around the ring, “Why did he come here with his knew boyfriend?”

Bob sat a bit straighter and turned towards Frank. “What does the boyfriend have to do with it?”

Frank placed the ring back on his finger and stood up, “I won’t be taking my fiancé with me the day I go to talk to him.” He let out a growl, and paced in front of Bob.

“Frank,” Bob stood up taking Frank by the shoulders and forcing him to look up. “That ring no longer belongs on your finger. You said it yourself: your fiancé. Talk to him, get your closure, don’t fuck with my sister’s heart.” Bob poked Frank hard on the chest, before turning towards the door.
Frank slipped the gold band off his finger and dropped it into his pocket. Bob was his best friend, but he couldn’t forget he was also Emma’s brother. He rubbed the spot were Bob had poked him. It really hurt.

Frank knew he was pushing things with Bob. He had been very understanding about what Frank needed to do, because he’d seen how broken Frank had been years ago. He knew the guilt Frank felt. He knew Frank needed closure, so he’d be lenient, but that didn’t mean he was about to allow Frank to hurt or disrespect his sister.

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