Te Recuerdo Hoy

So anyone remember The Black Choir?

I'm working on the next chp and to do so I have to read the whooooole thing over. Call me concided but it doesn't suck as much as I thought, but that is beside the point.

I had a character in this story called Elton, but everyone called him El.

El = He in spanish.

So as I read I keep reading El as He and then it makes no sense and I go back and see it says EL not HIM.

My brain is playing tricks on me!!

I've had a really hard time finishing the second part of "The Ray Fic" because the time frame decided to fuck with me. It has given me such a freaking hard time. This kiddos is what happens when you don't think about the time frame before starting a story, it will get mad at you and it will hunt you down.

I think I have it pretty figured out and I hope I don't have to go back and do anymore changes or cut anything else out because it doesn't fit.

-Ray and Gerard same age to save my sanity

-Gerard is 3 years older than Mikey and four than Frank.

-Gerard and Ray met when they were twelve

-Gerard came out to his family and Ray when he was 14

-The Carl incident happen when Mikey was 17, Mikey didn't date again until he was 18.

-Gerard and Frank meet when Frank is 17 and just out of high school.

-Gerard and Frank don't "see" each other(Gerard ignores Frank) until Frank is almost eighteen.

-They move in together 6 months after they officially start dating so around April

- When they are dating for 10 or so months Gerard asks Frank to "marry" him

- The vow exchange was outdoors so they were together for around a year and six months (Gah, I have to change Don's speech a bit). Frank is 19 and Gerard about 23 give or take a few months.

-Gerard was 24 when the accident happened, Frank obviously 20.

- Reflections begins six years after the accident so Frank is 25-26 and Gerard at the beginning just turned 30

- Bob is two years older than Emma and Emma is the same age as Frank.(see what I mean about the time frame? I'll leave this here for my own amusement) Bob obv. is one year older than Frank making him the same age as Mikey.

- Jeph is Frank's age.


Edit: Quick note, Matt is two years older than Gerard not that it matters much he is barely in any of the stories.

Edit again: Not that I think anyone will care but I won't change when Ray says Gerard didn't see Frank for a year after they met. Ray is thinking age wise not sure of the time frame. Frank was 17 when they met and 18 when they began dating even though it was only about a 4 month period.

I've been reading a lot of abuse fics lately. The topic completely fascinates me. The idea of complete control and unwilling submission and I'm not talking Master slave thing.

I mean what is it in a person that lets them be treated that way, what part of you has to die to accept that you deserve to be treated that or that the abuser deserves forgiveness?

Then there is the abuser who god I wish I could get into their heads and knit pick through their thoughts.

I remember once I wanted to break up with a boyfriend and he got really scary. I remember him cornering me and telling me he'd heard I wanted to break up with him and I said yeah and he said "I don't believe it, because you'd never do that to me right?" and he took me by the chin and forced me to nod.

I had my best guy friend come with to meet the idiot the next day and I broke up with him. My best friend made sure to let him know to never again come near me. He didn't.

I obviously didn't love that guy and I wonder if it had been different if I loved him. I know that if I cared for him I would have told him right there and then that he better take his hand off me and think very well about how and who he is talking to.

But one thing is saying "I would" and another is being in the situation and actually doing it, right?

I've asked my friend many times why she puts up with him she always says it's because she loves me and she swears that he is a good guy. Some how the good things according to her make up for the bad things. How can there be good when there is no respect and there is so much fear?

I'm rambling...

I think I might right an abuse fic, though I already have a short story collection. Heh, maybe one day. I'd love to get into the victims and abusers head.